Everything You Need to Know About Last Week’s News #16

In reverse order of importance:

There was a World Series in the United States.

Scientists discovered a talking whale. Kinda. Sorta.

An MIT student thinks we can deflect an asteroid by shooting it with paintballs. So that’s what they do in college these days.

Windows released a tablet called Surface and the Windows 7 sequel called Windows 8. I’ve seen a few articles talking about awesome they are but no articles yet about people actually buying them.

Apple released an iPad mini. Now they have screens that are 4″, 7″, 9″, 13″, 15″, 17″, 21″, and 24″. The rumors say next year they will come out with the iPhone large, Macbook mini, large iPad mini, and mini bonus iPod large mini S to fill in the missing integers.

A new Obama ad featuring Lena Dunham compares voting for Obama to losing your virginity. Well, I guess they can both be painful.

The Washington Post released an awesome three part series about the increasing permanence of US drone policy, including gems about buggy software that turns killer aircraft on all by itself.

The euro crisis staggered on with headlines like “Spain’s Unemployment Reaches Record As Bailout Looms.” Still not sure when all this Looming is going to bring about the Collapse of All Things.

The fighting in Syria reached a sorta-not-really ceasefire. Still doesn’t seem to be a lot of visible progress between the government and the rebels, which basically means lots and lots of people are dying.

A HURRICANE IS GOING TO MAKE IT RAIN IN SOME BIG CITIES! CHARGE UP YOUR IPODS BEFORE THE POWER GOES OUT!

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