In reverse order of importance:
Lindsay Lohan and/or her dad did something newsworthy or something.
After a few weather-induced delays, Felix Baumgartner broke a skydiving record by jumping from 24 miles above the ground. He survived the jump.
A new report says average student loan debt rose 5% last year to $26,500. Isn’t it amazing what kids can do with the help of the government?
Scientists are outraged after learning that a California businessman dumped 100 tons of iron into the ocean in a controversial scheme to combat climate change. Shouldn’t the scientists should be thrilled they’ve convinced rich people to change their ways to save the planet?
Speaking of saving the planet, France’s new 75% tax on the wealthy wasn’t driving citizens away fast enough, so they came up with a new scheme to tax power hogs. Maybe it’s all part of France’s secret plan to make their country so miserable that everyone leaves, dropping their carbon emissions to zero!
A US citizen was mistakenly placed on the no-fly list after flying to Hawaii, preventing him from leaving for five days. Apparently the government hoped that stranding him on an island paradise would prevent him from complaining about the lack of due process.
Malala, the teenage blogger girl that the Taliban tried to kill, is continuing to recover.
The Syrian civil war appears to have spilled into Lebanon by way of a car bomb. It’s still getting messier over there.