Everything You Need to Know About Last Week’s News #14

In reverse order of importance:

The European Union won the Nobel Peace Prize. This was actually an improvement for the Nobel committee – instead of giving the prize to a president who then dropped missiles in six countries, they have given it to a group of people who are merely rioting.

A bright shiny object was discovered on Mars!! But it turned out to just be some plastic from the rover.

SpaceX completed their first official re-supply mission to the International Space Station despite a failed engine, although that engine did ruin an attempt to launch a commercial satellite on the same mission.

A Texas school is tracking all of its students with RFID tags so they can get more federal funds from attendance records. Because, you know, it’s so hard to take roll every morning without completely dismantling the right to privacy with a centralized system that is ripe for abuse.

Soft drink and restaurant businesses are suing NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg for limiting the size of sodas sold in restaurants (but not in gas stations). How dare these companies attempt to use the judicial branch to check the unlimited power of the executive branch!

Despite facing his strongest opposition to date, Hugo Chavez was “re-elected” “president” of Venezuela. Quoted words are taken from articles, and by no means imply suspicion that such words do not reflect reality.

There was no clear winner in last week’s vice-presidential debate. Joe Biden laughed a lot.

A 14-year-old Pakistani girl was shot by the Taliban for blogging about the Taliban’s atrocities, specifically their attacks on schools for women. The girl is not dead but receiving medical care, and tens of thousands of Pakistanis are rallying against the Taliban, increasing pressure on the government to be a little less friendly towards them. This unfolding story could ultimately help lead to progress in the region.